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December 27 communication"For twenty-seven years I've been trying to belive and confide in different people I found... " This song is "Communication" which is recalled due to my suddenly feeling that relationship, is actually a miracle.
We build relationships all life long, intentionally or not. Friendships, love affairs, business network...how many of them eventually succeed? Communication, is the point and the joint. It decides.
Don't even think about finding someone meeting your expectation, only if we find a person similar to ourselves, we should close eyes and fold hands to thank. People have so different communication ways. After so much blind-chating with BBS friends and all, I find the effective way to communicate, or say, to save communication----no connection, then disconnect. If our communication leads to no joint, I'll just cut it. It's absolutely a waste to talk with someone thinking totally another thing.
One of my (kinda) BBS friend kept asking me how to spend my Christmas, how I am spending my Christmas, how I spent my Christmas...before I bears no more meaningless and duplicated questions. I questioned him in turn why asked me these questions by deleting the word "stupid". Guess what? He said, "sorry, I just want to learn about various ways to spend Christmas and someday I will use them."
Guess again, do I believe his "answer"? In fact, even though he's telling the truth I will NOT be convinced anyway. I'm not suspicious, I'm just holding huge difference from his thought and his communication way furthemore.
So, no miracle this time.
Once again, I want to cut him off from my life. Yep, as you may be now frowning, the side effect shows----I'm becoming more and more individual, waiting for another matching individual. December 23 *snoWinter**```然而冬天对于我,的确是很特殊的季节,以至于我会认为发生在冬天的事情才是最美妙的。
春天被赞美,是因为苏醒;夏天被书写,是因为盛放;秋天承受忧愁,是因为萧瑟;冬天为人渴求,是因为寒冷。
冬天的味道,是在姥姥家的属于童年的大床上,午后的阳光烤灼毛毯和我身上衣服的味道。我总是想拉上窗帘,姥姥摇头,说阳光多好。后来我知道,那种温暖就是被隔辈人照顾着可以永远不长大的安全感,是享受不尽的宠爱。冬天的味道,是虽然寒冷却可以轻易闻到的阳光的味道。
也是在公车站,弱小的身影背着偌大的书包,独自等车的寒冷味道。冷空气里有一种味道,想躲,又无处可躲;想克服,于是不停哈气;想让公车快点来,所以和着冷空气愈来愈强烈地期待,从一数到百,从百数回一。车来了,无论多么挤也一定会上,因为等待太长。
冬天的味道,是和室友结伴下楼打水时候的味道。因为没有那么现代化的设备,按一下等一会儿就能得到热水,所以提着暖壶挤进电梯是幸福的。锅炉房总是有一些味道的,烧炭的味道,热水管的味道,还有热水冲在木头上的味道。纯真时代独有的味道。
是在出租车里一边被暖手一边被安置在肩膀上的时候,那么近而闻到的衣服上专有的洗衣剂味道。是在圣诞节的咖啡厅里相拥而坐的时候,那么近而再次闻到的衣服上的味道。是每一次我经过那里都会感觉有值得期待的事情。
冬天是三个刚在学校献过血的人在睦南道的路灯下踢毽球,家人一般互相提醒不要感冒。踢完了故意绕路回学校,顺便在路上大声唱歌。是两颗带着痕迹的心巧妙的碰撞和闪躲,发现原来彼此那么相似,于是交换心事。
... ...
It's just snowing again, but I found nothing except the coldness...
2003年冬天,初雪,11月7日。
2004年,11月25日。
2005年,12月1日。
从那以后,便不值得记录。
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